Let us talk about death.

Francois said that in the past, funerals used to be grand affairs where the family and close friends gathered to witness and ease the pain of departure. But nowadays, death is a taboo subject which no one wishes to broach.

My friend's grandfather just passed away. And another one of my friend's grandfather is in the Class B2 Ward. They are feeding him vanilla flavoured milk through tubes inserted through the nose down the throat. My friend told me that it does not matter whether it is flavoured or not, normal human beings will never be able to distinguish the flavour of the milk when it is fed down your throat. The tastebuds are located only on one's tongue. The medical professionals do not and will not know whether her grandfather prefers chocolate or vanilla milk anyway. I told her that the nurses are feeding him vanilla milk for the sake of the family members and the witnesses present.

Death is definitely a social affair. Funerals are social mass dances. Let the reaper do the tango.

Let us talk about suicide.

If I am right about what Schopenhauer said, our most authentic choice as human beings, is to choose suicide.

If our lives are ours to lead, our demons to be our shadows, our fears our eternal companions, our pains are forever ours own to bear, our troubles forever personal, our thoughts never to be shared, then our ends will always be ours to face. And should be ours to choose. But in our society, suicide is a crime and death a public affair. And I wonder why.

My friend said that he will beat up anyone who wants to commit suicide. Society has spent so much in bringing one up, the parents have expended so much effort on bringing up the child, and he finds it ungrateful should one just chooses to throw one's life away. He thinks that these people should just be forced to labour to make the society better. I do not think that he has heard Russell's statement that parental love can be the most selfish love of all. And as for our debts to the society, well, I did not choose to be born. The society owes me an explanation.

I told him to consider people who finds no meaning in living, in giving and in breathing. I guess the concept of such a being still eludes him, even when a living, laughing example was there asking him the questions.

If living is just about breathing, then we will all be so alive. But if it is about self created meanings and self directed actions and ends, then we should have a choice as to how, when and where we want to end our existence. Medical science has allowed us to survive the worst of physiological nightmares, it has the ability to give us another shot at living or an extended timespan for life. But it has failed so miserably if its aim is to provide meaning or happiness. All it can provide is relief from pain, not joy.

Durkheim's study on suicide failed to shed light on this account. Social solidarity and shared meanings and lives will prevent suicide, but legalising against suicide is not something I would call social solidarity. And modern societies while providing an education, have failed to provide a substitute for faith and religion. Love of knowledge and passion for life will not stand up to the scrutiny of Reason. If Rosseau is right, we will be forever in chains, always trapped in the discourse with no visible of escape. We are all part of the Whole, our personal decisions will affect others. And perhaps that is why suicides are illegal.

In a world where everyone is searching for a way out, it is dangerous knowledge that death might be the only permanent solution. Thus, people who possesses this knowledge and who are eager to demonstrate it are dangerous. They might just be the virus who might kill the dinosaurs.

My friend told me that suicide will probably be the first and the last crime she will ever commit.

This post is inspired by Battle Angel Alita, when I re-read it a few months ago..

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"Before dawn, I have been looking at the sky... from complete darkness, to a deep blue that I've never seen... in the sky, countless hue overlap each other and form an incredible picture, I was fascinated. ... Then gradually, the blue in the sky falls down... I mean, I feel my body was blown into little pieces, and only my heart was left and it ascends to somewhere in the sky! I felt I was no longer me, but became one with the "blue in the sky", and scatter over every corner of this world... did that happen in several seconds, or several hours...? I don't know... but that was a very wondorous and intense sensation.

"I now understand. Until now I have seen a lot of people... a lot of incomprehensible and tragic things happened to me, but...

"In this world, nothing is meaningless. And in my heart, nobody had died."

~ Alita


P.S: When I said that medical science cannot provide us with joy, I did not consider "flying" as joy. As for the quote for Alita, it is just there for fun. And as for my promise to ^dante to die only after him, with the way he is accelerating his death by smoking and keeping late nights, I do not see that there is any contradiction between suicide ( if I should even consider it one day ) and my promise to him.