My friend's friend got married today. She got three friends as back-up witnesses in case her mother-in-law, who happens to the step-mother of the groom, refused to be a witness. The marriage took place anyway and she signed. But throughout, she was making things difficult, ugly and uncomfortable. She refused to be in any photograph, the seething anger was apparent on her face and the atmosphere was so tense that the girl's father got so angry that he left immediately after the ceremony without attending the reception afterwards. Since the newly-wed are both of legal age, I cannot understand why they need to have the parents involved in their vision of a perfect wedding ceremony. Of course it would be nice to have their approval, but my advice to them would be:

FUCK THE WORLD!

If I was the bride, I would have devised ways of making it a double whammy: my wedding and her funeral.

It makes me wonder why marriage should be a social affair. I can have a video tape and a government official (optional) as my witness, I do not see the of need any other living witnesses. The legal age of 21 is already a signfier of physical and emotional autonomy, an aribtrary date decided by the society to keep us enslaved to and dependent on our parents, denying us full recognition of our rights and abilities till an age when they decide they can no longer contain us. But in fact, it is not a dependency on our parents, but society as a whole.

The age of 21 is not a signifier of emotional or psychological maturity as exemplified by several of my infamous friends who are often pretty proud to exhibit their infantile behaviour.

I do not see why a couple should not be allowed to be married without the blessing of their friends, parents or witnesses. Should not marital commitments be personal? If the move is to tie us to the community, asking for our actions to be answerable to the social whole, then Singapore has set up too many, way too many barriers against the blossoming of individuality. A ball and chain around everyone's ankles does not make a community.