Something troubling happened last night.

I cut short my dinner with Ling and my parents last night and rushed to meet a friend of mine after receiving 2 SMSes. He told me that he is in deep shit and asked me to meet him in Takashimaya.

I came to a dejected looking him, with a file at his side and a calculator on his table. There was a weak smile and a confession that he lost the money that was meant to buy products for the customers in stocks. He asked me if I had guessed it.

I did.

Half of the total amount was lost, which is close to $60,000. I expected a loss, but not the extent of damage. And I asked if my share of profit, about $17,000, could help.

"There is nothing left, C*** P****, there is nothing left, I used up all of it."

I was calm. Money, was never that important to me, and I hope will never be. And if I lost much, he lost more. I did not blame him, raise my voice or scold him. All that seemed so futile.

Anger was too strong an emotion for me. Disappointment sets in later.

All I felt then was a need to solve this problem of ours. I just felt that I am in it with him, even though the mistake was his. From a business perspective, I am confident that I can come out on my own and do a better job. But I am not sure if my conscience will allow that.

I do not think so.

He told me that, if we survive this, to control him, because he cannot control himself. He is always chasing that quick buck and taking a gamble. I suppose he lost big, bigger than the $40,000 loss a few years back. This business venture was to help him repay his debts.

And I thought he would have learnt his lesson.

Over lunch a couple of hours ago, he said that the total in loss is $80,000, but only $60,000 is required to repay the customer. And asked if I can help. I can, but everyone I know asked me to steer clear of him. My parents do not know about this, it is best that they do not.

He posed a rather strange question to me though. He had many times before, asked me to meet his fortune teller who was extremely accurate. The fortune teller was supposed to be rather famous, so much so that that appointments have to be made just to see her. But I have rejected him every time. He asked me why I refused, and whether I am curious.

Frankly, I am not sure why. I am curious, extremely so. But I can remember my late grandmother telling me that my grandfather, whom I have never met, believed that only those down on luck wanted to know their fortunes.

I suppose in this case, it is all the more true.

But I fear knowing my future more. It is easier to live day by day rather than to see so far ahead. As it is, I am already extremely pessimistic regarding the future. I simply told him that I need not know, because I am contented. And he agreed. Temptations cannot shake those who are grateful. Contentment and gratitude are things he had to learn.

Experience is a good teacher, but its lessons are expensive.

It matters little who did wrong, or what he did, but rather what is to be done. In fact, we spent a large amount of time looking at each other in silence. Reality leaves so little for imagination. The corner leaves so little room for thought. He has decided his past, but his future is as open as mine. And my future will be decided by how far I am willing to go for him.

I have my duties, my obligations. Just how far can I go...