I have attended 2 wedding dinners in 2 weeks, and I found out from the other guests around the table, that I should be consider myself lucky to just have 2 invitations. Apparently the table was full of casualties of the year-end death rain of wedding invitations.

For the more reticent, sitting through a dinner at a table full of strangers might prove to be a harrowing experience. The stress of being at a table of nine fresh faces will be enough to affect their delicate stomach.

But my personal experiences in the past fortnight have been testimonials to the contrary. Far from being stressful or tense, the dinner experiences were in fact quite enjoyable.

To help fellow readers make the most of their monetary contribution to the dinner, I sifted through the details of the experience and the thought processes which I underwent during the dinner and consolidated what would be the finer points to note during wedding banquets, in hope of saving their appetite.

And here I present to you, the result of days of deep meditation:

The Survival Guide to Wedding Banquets

Apparently we are all present because of a few common factors listed below. And it will only be to our advantage should we use them to relate to our fellow diners.

One, either the bride or groom thinks that we are his/her good friends.
Two, we all have nothing better to do on a Sunday night.
Three, we are all hungry people waiting for food.
Four, we are all veterans at wedding dinners.

As such, below are a few topics for conversation:

One, suggest constructive things that we can do on Sunday nights without wedding dinners.
Two, exchange stories of bankruptcies caused by wide social circles.
Three, amuse everyone with the simple game of dropping names of 90% of the hotels in Singapore and compare the quality of food, of service, of ambience and number of cute waiters at the banquet. Feel free to extent the list to hotels in Shanghai, Beijing, Kuala Lumpur or other exotic locations.
Four, brainstorm for creative metaphors and images for hunger, starvation and disgruntled customers.
Five(for the grandmasters only) do a longitudinal comparison of the quality of food in the banquet they had in the same hotel last week and the quality of food in the present banquet.
Six, gossip about the idiosyncrasies and the quirks of the bride, groom or both.
Seven, (optional) talk about the positive characteristics of the bride, groom or both.

To conclude, often it is perceived differences that exist between individuals. Deep down, we are all the same... hungry and bored people without a life. So think not of them as strangers, but as fellow sentient beings capable of feeling the way you are.