Not All is Fair with the Fairer Sex

Be warned, that the following will be controversial.

To be in love with a dream is to run the risk of waking up with a shock. She may be more a monster than the person you dreamt her to be. Often there is a side of her that is just waiting to be unleashed by hurt, jealousy or insecurity.

To be in love with an impression, is to run the risk of your world crumbling with counter examples. First impression lasts. But hurt and pain can brand another over it easily.

Our fairer sex, like animals are most dangerous when wounded. A woman is most desperate when hurt.

Women need not be objective or rational and even less fair. They are likely to treat everything in the way they treat kids, in accordance with their whims and fancies. I suppose years of thinking they are excused from the rules of the game or the codes of honour that binds men, has allowed them to think that they can get away with murder.

And perhaps that is precisely why they feel neither shame nor restraint, during their emotional outbursts that are often without reason, which they unleash without taking into consideration governing rules or justification, after which they feel no remorse, perhaps only regret.

Men when hurt, can be dangerous too.

However, we are more subdued. Perhaps the days of throwing a punch and receiving another in return has taught us the price of anger. Or perhaps the regret of losing our favourite CD collection to temper has inculcated in us that things once broken cannot be mended. And perhaps through such painful and probably expensive lessons, we have learnt that things in the past are better left in the past.

The 7 Deadly Sins are as follow:

Pride
Envy
Gluttony
Lust
Anger
Greed
Sloth

But I fear this is hardly comprehensive or accurate. They missed out or should replace two of them with Spite and Revenge. The greatest harm done I know are due to both qualities, arising from insecurity and perceived hurt inflicted in the past.

And from experience, the person closest to us can hurt you most, both intentionally and unintentionally. And from experience, it is better not to let others get too close to our emotional selves.

But the fear is very wrongly placed. The point is to avoid being close to others. The closer we are to someone, the more pain and hurt we can inflict and the more damage we can cause. And this destructive powers make us likely victims for Spite and Revenge.

It adds a whole new dimension to the saying that it is better to be respected than to be loved.

Expectations set the stage for hurt and fear is the basis of insecurity. And being close to a person allows people to make guesses about us and gives them grounds for expectations of us. For people who seek to live life their own way, this is where all the problems begin.

Nothing is more frightening that the fear of abandonment. Give another expectations and dependence, and you will soon find them puncturing the tires of your car and sabotaging your plans to leave. They will blackmail you emotionally, they will take actions which their normal selves will never think of taking, they will turn into things that crawled out of the very pits of hell, they will fall to Spite and Revenge. At this point, it would be wise to recall what Master Yoda said about young Anakin Skywalker.

I have said that expectations which are not communicated are unreasonable, and it is not unreasonable to expect, just that all expectations are unreasonable.

I suppose this is the reason I stayed aloof. This is the reason why I said that my path is not suitable for anyone else. We met by accident, not by meditation. We are on the same path by chance, have no illusions that we will continue on the same path. Expect little, if not nothing from me. I wish not to hurt you by failing your expectations or by my leaving to follow my will. I wish not to give you false hopes or illusions, you do not know me and you probably never will. I just want to be alone.

Stay away, for you are dangerous.