Unlearning

This word usually occurs only in movies or maybe religious texts... and no one really knows what it means. I think we have to differentiate it from amnesia or forgetting what we have learnt. Perhaps it is to be understood as a characteristic of our minds or of the nature of truth. Truth is supposed to describe reality, and as we grow, often we have to refine our description or understanding to better fit the picture we see. And until the day we arrive at the ultimate truth, if the day ever comes, we will always be learning, unlearning and refining our realities.

An example would be newtonian physics that is replaced theories of relativity, which is later to be complimented with quantum mechanics. In science and in life, our own rules neither apply to the very large or the very small...

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. "
Henry David Thoreau

Growth boils down to learning that truths are often temporary and sometimes necessary so. It is to impose order on our universes, to stablize the grounds beneath our feet before leaping into the next unknown. I have described it as akin to moths flitting between lamp posts, pausing at the light long enough to recover one's breath before heading out through the large expanse of darkness for the next light.

It is like living your entire life believing that the total of the internal angles of a triangle will always add up to a hundred and eighty degrees... and having your world turned upside down when you learnt about non-Euclidean geometry.

It is always a tiring journey.

And some will never leave their comfort zones... but many will. Growing up sometimes is not a choice, although we wonder if it should ever be. Of late, due to certain unsolicited comments, I have been asking if I have grown too arrogant, so much so that I am not able to see with the clarity that people appreciated me for, whether I have failed to move on to the next plane of understanding....

And the answer is that I do not know.

What am I supposed to say to whether my mind is open, or whether I can see things which in my arrogance, I may not be able to see? What can anyone say?

People see me as a person full of paradoxes, someone with unyielding principles; yet someone flexible enough to accomodate deviant ideas, someone with uncompromising standards; yet someone who does not care enough, someone who lashes out with vicious ferocity; yet someone who is quite often forgiving.

Yes, I am an existentialist. I am supposed to be full of paradoxes.

And yes, they do not know me enough.

So is my vision still clear? Is my sight still untainted? Is my mind still unclouded?

Of these, I cannot be sure and I am not sure if many know me well enough to comment with any conviction. I cannot be sure, and I am not sure if I can ever be, but I shall live, breathe, die by the following words.

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself."
Henry Ward Beecher